Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize