I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
