Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
