the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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