We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
