This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
