but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so let's talk penis.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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