girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
