his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
