I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
