im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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