I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
