The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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