this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.