Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?