we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.