I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
