Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
