I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
