i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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