"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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