Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
