if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
