Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
