I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
