My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
