Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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