there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
