Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
And then he peed in my hair
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