so explain again why im purple
no
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
