Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
