found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
