what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
