we have officially lost it.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
