I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
