He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm bleeding and have questions
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
