What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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