I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
