yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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