You made me cry and you don't even care
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
