How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
