I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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