PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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