The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i will never coherently bang her
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
