But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
