so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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