can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
