I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
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