I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
