You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
