Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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