I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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