i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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