she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
