he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
