You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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