Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
