you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
