whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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