i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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