Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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